David Hawcrofts reflections & observations on long distance running

HOW YOU (AND EVERYONE ELSE) KNOW YOU ARE TRAINING FOR THE 'BIG ONE'
You've been going to bed exhausted and in pain and waking up exhausted and in pain.

You simply daren't look at your toenails.

You've run 10 miles in 70 minutes and marked it down as an easy run.

You tend to eat whole packets of spaghetti in one sitting

You drive to the wholesale fruit market to buy boxes of apples and bananas

You haven't bought a T shirt for years

You can't sit on park bench for longer than 5 minutes

You have to handle your underwear with disposable gloves.

You know the characteristics of every dog in a 10 mile radius from home.

Your bedroom stinks of sweat plus Deep heat, Tiger Balm and Arnica gel.

The local physiotherapist has you down on his Christmas card list.

You have a biscuit tin full of vitamin supplements, calcium, magnesium, zinc and unpronounceable herbal things.

At work you are the only one whose morning snack is a gel.

You are a professional lecturer and you are the one who falls asleep in the lectures.

You've been barred from the local 'All-You Can-Eat' restaurant.

Your heart rate has fallen so low you are defined as clinically dead.

You've eaten a four course meal, asked for a second dessert and are still hungry.

You've a drawer full of black tights and you're a man.

You've a drawer full of football shorts and you are a woman.

When you open certain cupboards T shirts  fall out and crush you.

Your login is 2.59.59

Your four favourite websites are runireland.com, letsrun.com, mapmyrun.com and athleticsireland.com

You average 9 hours sleep a night (plus a nap when you can) and are still knackered

You get aspirin, ibuprofen and vaseline in industrial packs

Your freezer contains two packs of frozen peas, neither of which are for consumption.

You taped over your wedding video with the London Marathon.

Your home has dusters everywhere and they are all old running socks.

You've fallen asleep during intercourse

You understand the meaning of PB, SB, DNS and DNF

You know the exact length of all the lanes and roads for 10 miles around home.

You run to work, change in a store room and hope nobody notices you stink

You've urinated in more public places than your dog.

You've so many old running shoes you even wore them to a wedding.

You wake up hoping the weather is far too bad to run (and when it is you worry)

You've eaten a six-pack of crisps before going to bed.

Your secret pin number in 02.59

You suggest to your partner that summer holidays could be in London (April), Belfast (early May) Longford (mid-August), or Dublin (late October)!!

David Hawcroft